Okay, so last night was amazing. The Lord worked a lot in that room. I had the opportunity to lead worship last night and it was such a great experience. But first let's get back to the beginning of the week and say what happened.

Tuesday night I was in the prayer chapel and worship was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. There's no other way to describe it. God was there in such an incredible way. While I was there they had everyone pray for people that wanted prayer. At first I felt like God was saying He wanted me to receive prayer, but in my pride, and insecurity, I didn't raise my hand. A few minutes later I did raise my hand, but everyone else had already been praying, so they didn't see me. That was fine because I knew that if God wanted someone to pray for me He would send someone.

So Braxton came along a few minutes later and started praying for me. It was so good. The Lord just kept telling Braxton to ask God to fill me with His Holy Spirit. It was so good. I was getting so filled. Then I had to leave and then Braxton followed me out because he had to tell me something. Oh, while I was praying I was talking to God about how I didn't know how to fit everything into my life and how overwhelmed I was by relationships. Then I said, "God, that's not you, is it? Being with all these people and building all of these relationships. They aren't anything you've called me to do, but I'm just doing them. So then I was praying through that and asking God to show me who to pour into and what to do.

Anyway, back to Braxton. We get out the door and Braxton says, "I don't know what this means to you, but I saw you building a table. You were building it and after you built it you were setting the table. And then you were sitting at the table as if you were waiting for someone to come. Then someone did come. He grabbed your hand and pulled you up. It was Jesus and He said, 'No Kristin, come to my table. I've already got a place prepared for you.'" It was so good! What a blessing for God to speak through Braxton like that. As soon as he spoke those words I knew what the Lord was speaking to me. All the time I am trying to build my own table and set it and do all of these things for God. I'm jsut constantly doing, and I know that and I know that's a problem. I've known that for a long time now. But finally I had a picture of what all of my "doing" looked like. I was struggling to make my own table when Jesus has already got one made. All He wants is for me to be at it and draw others near to Him. I don't need to make anything. He's already got it all made. I need to stop doing.

It was so good! Praise the Lord!

Then last night was good too. Just some of the things that the Lord did were really awesome. He gave me the power and voice to sing even when my voice was gone. He led me to lead parts of the songs at certain times and when to do what. There were sometimes when I didn't hear Him clearly, and I know I did some thigns wrong sometime, but it was really good to know He wasn't worried or mad at me but would give me another shot next time. I got to speak a lot of what the Lord was doing in my life, which was so cool. It was a beautiful time with the Lord. I give Him all the glory, honor and praise. I thank Him so much for the way He used me last night and the way He allowed me to be with Him.

Praise Jesus.

Hey, so I don't really know what's going on . We've been planning to go to IHOP for a long time now, and we're supposed to leave today. It started out with 7 of us going, and then this week it went up to 11, which is awesome. We needed a car and the Lord provided one, which is awesome. So we've all been excited and really anticipating this weekend. Well, last night I get a phone call from Lauren, the girl who was setting the whole trip up, telling me she can't go now. There is a big snowstorm going across the midwest and her parents told her not to go. But the Lord is awesome and gave her great peace about it from the moment she couldn't go. And she was like, "Maybe the Lord needed someone to stay here and pray for you guys. And if that's what he needed then I'm thankful he provided and that I get to do it!" She is so amazing. Correction, the Lord is so amazing through her! So that all happened at like 12:30AM. Then around 2:30 I get an email from this girl, Joy, who was driving one of the cars to IHOP, saying that she felt the Lord tell her not to go. She was really confused because the person we are staying with is her friend AND she had an interview scheduled for an internship she wants to do there next semester. But she said the Lord spoke to her clearly and she was not supposed to go. One of the other boys backed out because of the weather, but he had just decided to go yesterday, so that wasn't a big deal.

So now I don't know if I should go or not. But really, the Lord has not said no even once, and we were supposed to drive directly into 2 huge storms when we went in December and never saw either one of them, so I trust the Lord completely. If you all would be praying for us that would be awesome. Thanks!!!

<3 Kristin

Hey ya'll!

I'm leaving today to go on a roadtrip with my youth group! I'll be back next Monday, so if you don't hear from me for a week, that's why! If you could pray for me and pray for the students, that would be awesome! Pray that God challenges us like he never has before and that we would respond to his challenges with obedience, trust, willingness and boldness! I keep feeling like I need people to pray for my heart. I'm not sure why. But if you could do that, that'd be awesome! Thanks so much girls! I love you all and can't wait to see you soon!!!!

<3 Kristin

Did you ever think, maybe we've got it all wrong? We try so hard to do things for God and be more like him, but our effort, no matter how persistent it is never works. What if spending time on who God is, is more important than struggling to be like God by our own efforts. Because the more we ponder God's character, the more we fall in love with him. And the more we fall in love with him, the more we begin to be like him because we like the way his heart beats and we want our to beat the same.

Take love for example. We don't experience love by loving others, we experience love by allowing ourselves to marvel in the love of others. Maybe that is how it's supposed to be with God. We're supposed to delight in the love he gives us, and because of that love, we will be able to love others better, including ourselves.

I don't know why, but this grouping of verses just came to mind. I don't know if it has anything to do with what God has been talking to me about, but it's something because he randomly brought it to my attention again. The passage is from Isaiah 54 and it goes,

"Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband. Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords; strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities."

I need to sing because of the things God is going to bless me with. I have not seen big things in my ministry yet. And actually, even bigger than that is that I haven't seen big things happen with my family and me this summer. I thought I was going to be bringing the knowledge of the Holy Spirit to everyone this summer, but I don't really feel like I've done that at all. I feel as though my efforts have been worthless, or I just haven't put the effort into making sure that happens. I don't know really. Even though I don't have children right now. Even though I don't have a ministry right now and don't see one in sight, for the near future anyway, I need to sing and make music to the Lord because my blessings are going to be greater than those who have awesome ministries now. I just have to keep stretching out my tent. I have to keep reaching out to people and touching them. I have to keep giving of myself. I have to go ahead and start making plans as though my ministry has started. That is how it is with the tent. She is supposed to keep lengthening her cords and stretching her tent wide, even though there is nothing to put in that space just yet. It seems like a waste of time widening the tent so much and working so hard for that if there is nothing to put there, but something will be put there. The Father provides the blessings and he will fill up that tent more than thought possible. We are told not to hold back. DO NOT HOLD BACK. I am told not to hold back. Strengthen my stakes. I need to make possible the things God has for me. I need to strengthen the things he has given me and I need to strengthen the parts of my life thatI am founded on and the parts of my life and the parts of Jesus that will hold my tent down through trouble and storm. My people will build up broken ministries to be bold and beautiful.